Volunteering

2009-08-03T22:42:00.002+08:00

The day started out with me being ignored.
I asked her for her name and she shook her head.
I told her mine, and offered a handshake. She shook her head.
I asked her if she wanted to dance, she shook her head.

I tried, I talked to her about everything, from what we were about to do for that day to asking whether she has eaten breakfast. She shook her head.

Halfway through, she turned to me and told me her name.
She told me breakfast wasn't of a sufficient proportion and she felt hungry.
She told me about her taking O Levels, I was utterly amazed.
She told me to go enjoy myself and she didn't feel like dancing; i decided to stay on and talk to her

At the end of the day, she asked me: How can I ever thank you?

I melted into the joy of having able to reach out to her, it just made my week. =D

2009-07-21T23:25:00.002+08:00

I would have been filled with anger, with hatred, towards her and towards myself.

As time went by, I've learnt to let go of my ego, of which manifested me in the forms above.

Come to think of it, I ought to be thankful to her, for she has provided me with the opportunity and condition to practise patience, to practise metta, to practise uppekha as well as mudita.

Perhaps it's good that the karma has ripened early, so that I get to learn at an earlier stage and apply my knowledge to the later stages of my life.

It takes pain to experience, it takes mistakes to learn, it takes opportunities to grasp.

I'll learn, I'll stay strong, because Love always hopes, always perseveres.

2009-01-13T19:44:00.002+08:00

I was blindfolded. Yet the support group really made me feel as if they did not want anything to happen to me. A person even tied my shoelaces which were undone. Just to prevent from getting into an accident. We had to balance on this beam. My balance is not really good but again I had support from who was holding my hand tightly. She led me through the crossed log and I managed to climb over it safely. I was happy when I made it over. I think this can be applied to my life. When things happen everything is dark. But there is always someone beside us supporting us. We are willing to listen and to have trust in people and have confidence in ourselves; we can climb over obstacles and see light again!

A small little gesture of tying her laces for her on my part, and to continuously affirm her by telling her I was there to spot her, actually brought her encouragement, hope, perseverance to climb over the cross logs. It actually triggered such positivity in her attitude towards life. As Minmin said, we can't hope to change the entire course of their lives for them, neither can we expect ourselves to be their Samaritan, but we can hope that we'll be able to touch this little corner of their hearts. It was my objective for this YCon, to touch the girls' hearts with these little gestures, with our effort and time, to show them that we care for them, someone cares and they are loved. When I read the text, I felt that as much as I've touched a little part of her, she has brought even more warmth and motivation to me. She affirmed me more than anyone else has ever done, acknowledging my sinverity and effort to help them. I'm glad that she's put her trust in us and hope that she'll open up more with this trust.

I'm truly thankful that the girls opened up quite a bit and they were interactive without much effort on my part to involve them. That day, I learnt to take more initiative in doing the debriefs and learnt that it was necessary to do so. Although I am still nowhere near being good at debriefing, I'm willing to work hard especially when the girls are so willing to share, which is FANTABULOUS.

An open mind helps more than ever.

What's your point in doing service?

2008-10-30T22:26:00.003+08:00

I wanted to slap myself for my naivety, for thinking that the world is a perfect place filled with love and compassion, that those who volunteer do so with the best intention of their beneficiaries.

When we did our volunteers’ briefing, I asked my group why they signed up for Y Confidence. To my shock, or rather, trauma, so many of them told me, “To clock my CIP hours”. So I posed them another question, “What’s the objective that you want to fulfill for yourself and your buddy?”

I was speechless to her reply, she simply shrugged her shoulders and nonchalantly told me,“Nothing. I’m just here to get my CIP hours.” What was more surprising was the fact that she said it so matter-of-factly and that she was not even the least ashamed for her purpose of volunteering.

I can vividly remember a time when I asked another volunteer, why was he so enthusiastic about volunteerism, what drove him to spend so much time with the people with special needs. He told me, “Being able to help someone else who is worse off than me makes me feel good”.

They set me thinking, why would they want to do volunteer work when they do not even have their hearts set to help and enhance the lives of our beneficiaries. Maybe I am too protective of the beneficiaries, but why should the beneficiaries suffer because of these volunteers who were set out to benefit themselves? The various programmes have been designed with the aim of letting the beneficiaries build friendships and interact with their volunteers, to let them experience the bond and to have fun, and the volunteers themselves defeat the entire purpose.

I have always believed that volunteerism was a form of service learning. As you serve, you learn, share your experience and allow others to gain from your experience as well. In the case of volunteers who were “serving” just to build up their portfolios, have they truly done service? Have they really learnt from their experience? Is it not just a plain waste of time for them?

Then again, it is undeniable that there are cases where volunteers initially set out with a selfish purpose but were inspired to continue serving. I suppose it takes experience to truly understand the joy of volunteerism, though it definitely cannot be imposed on others if they cannot find the meaning in it. It is impossible to prevent them from not volunteering, but I shall pray hard that they will be inspired along the way, just like others, and continue to serve the less advantaged in our society.

And if you happen to be reading this, may I ask, what is YOUR point of doing service?

2008-10-18T23:31:00.002+08:00

It was just an ineffable sense of motivation that pushed me to muster all the courage within me to continue taking the steps up the vertical pole, swaying to the wind, up 12 meters and to the wooden platform which I thought might collapse under our weight anytime. All I knew was that I didn't want to disappoint the courage and trust that my buddy has had placed in me.

For the session with both the elements, I don't think I would have made it through without the constant support provided by the two boys. They gave me all the affirmation that I needed to cast aside all my fears and doubt; they continuously reassured me that I was safe in their hands; that they were there to provide me with all the support I require.

I'm truly thankful for the immense encouragement and courage the boys have endowed me with for today; I think the support they've provided me with today surpasses any form that I've shown them throughout the sessions.

=D

2008-08-16T21:37:00.003+08:00

I learnt to take a step back to observe, to look at things from an all new and different perspective, to look at the details.

I was really glad my buddy was so willing to share openly with me. Not only so, he also encouraged me to share about my own experiences and how I would put the situations into parallels with my life, friends and family.

Today's focus was greatly on support- giving support, asking for support and more importantly, being aware of the support available around us. For the session, while my buddy told me that it was hard to find support from his family and his friends sometimes didn't support him for appropriate events, I found myself in the same old position: I realised that I've been taking people around me for granted; be it my family, SBM or friends.

Having a buddy like him helps me learn a lot. He tells me about his situation, his perception, his side of the story. His voice is of an entirely different perspective from most of my friends and school mates, he brought me to another side of life. He allowed me to acknowledge the presence of suffering, which has affirmed my faith and perseverance to cultivate myself more.

I made the conscious effort to be around him at all times as well as to interact more with the rest of the boys. I felt that running into them on the bus on National Day was a blessing in disguise because it has helped to create this special link between them and me. I was able to joke and converse with them without feeling tense; I was perfectly comfortable and truthful with them. The comforting part was, I could feel that it was both ways.

Yay =D Tiring but fulfilling to the max.

2008-08-16T21:22:00.003+08:00

After not seeing the kids for two weeks, having them run around me and spin me in circles filled me with an incredulous amount of joy.

For the very first time Racheal took my hand and held it. I felt so, so fulfilled.I knew that my effort and love for them has gone nowhere down the drain.

Boonhong took his bread after having crackers sandwiched in between. He was pretty temperamental for the day, although it was good to see him finish up his bread eventually.

I experienced something new and refreshing yesterday- hydrotherapy. Although all I could do was to squat by the pool to hold the kids' hand, I could feel their enthusiasm and passion for the therapy sessions. Theodre was really upset he had to wait for the others to go down before he was able to, though the way he smiled when he touched the water cast aside all my frustrations.

I was really really tired, but they have become part and parcel of my life, without them something was amiss. They're really loving kids.

2008-07-31T01:19:00.003+08:00

Yesterday, Joanne was so motivated to play but my knee crashed entirely on me.
She told me: I want to play. I want to play. Play! Come on let's play!
And all I could answer, very helplessly was: Very painful, I cannot stand up.
I felt an immense guilt that I have had to leave her to train by herself, especially on one of the rare days she actually wanted to play.

Went to feed Janelle after that and I could see that she was putting in a lot of effort to learn what we taught her- standing on the spot, keeping her posture upright and hand-shaking the racket. Her passion, energy and laughter sent Junwen and I grinning to ourselves for the next twenty minutes or so.

Their passion for the sport keeps mine burning; their laughter infects me with happiness.

2008-07-25T19:55:00.001+08:00

They made me cry with joy. They may be of a lower intelligence quotient than us, they may require more attention and time but their hearts are so pure it's worth it.

While rehearsing on the stage which was laid with staples and nails, Yixiang began picking up all the metal bits and waved me to him, gesturing that they would hurt his friends. He then devoted all his attention to picking up these staples, even when there was so many, too many for him to clear.

Gabrielle ate during snack-time. For the first time in so many days, she's eating her snack without us having to bribe her with chips. It was such a pleasant surprise to us, we were so glad, so happy. Also, she sang so cheerfully during circle time, which she has not done for quite a long time. It's touching to see her so happy today.

Ellen would take my hand and kiss it. She touched my hair and indicated that I tied it in a ponytail today, since I normally bun it up. Then she pointed to my glasses and suggested that I looked different, because I normally wear contacts. So sweet, it's heartwarming.

When the kids saw Daniel's photo in the folder, all of them reached out for it. I miss Daniel and I'm certain they all do too. It was this sudden consensus that all of them started singing his name song. They're so loving. Then again, we should rejoice that he is able to transfer to primary school because he has attained adequate social skills.

Tomorrow's their big performance day. It's been months since they have started rehearsing and practising for this big moment. I'm quite upset that I won't be able to watch them on the day itself but I'm sure they'll do well. They all look gorgeous in their costumes and shiny headgear.

2008-07-19T21:36:00.001+08:00

It is often said that you can judge one's character, sincerity and depth by the handshake he offers. My buddy gave me a firm, assertive handshake at the end of the day. Although I would no longer be attached to him, he has gained my trust, respect and admiration.

He displayed no sign of hesitation when I encouraged him to share about his life and even went a further step to tell me about how he ended up in the hostel. From his eyes it was evident that he wants to change for the better and he's putting in immeasurable efforts to make the best out of his time in the hostel as well as at the programme.

He shared his love for boxing and his dream to become a boxer. In addition, he told me, he took his ability to an inappropriate level to involve himself in fighting and assault. At lunch, he taught me, "Enjoy the thrill, but don't take the pill and end up in jail".

I admire him for his awareness of his own weakness in managing anger. He would even reflect upon his actions every day, meditate when given the opportunity to and take the initiative to request to be sent for emotion management courses.

He's leading me by example!

I can see the goodwill in him and I want to help him badly. If given a choice, I'd rather stay with him together with Nat.

2008-07-18T20:05:00.000+08:00

To Summarise

Mentors and leaders are like human gardeners. Like plants, some humans are stronger than others, while others on thrive in specific conditions. Mentors and leaders provide the environment and conditions for others to soar and bring out the best in them.

1 They paint pictures
They facilitate the process of understanding qualities of leadership through analogies, visualisations and metaphors.

2 They provide handles
They make great truths into something simpler and easy to grab hold of, like handles to doors. At the same time, they suggest ways such truths can be put into practicality.

3 They supply roadmaps
Like roadmaps, they give us a big picture, our destination, the possible routes to our destination and those to avoid.

4 They furnish laboratories
They provide a safe and conducive environment for their mentees to experiment and practice values that have been taught and any errors can be corrected then.

5 They give roots
Roots provide stability and strength, something (perhaps values or principles) to stand on. Like a compass, they enable mentees to make decision based on healthy values.

6 They Offer Wings
They give the ability to soar, to attempt big goals, to take risks and lift off the ground.

Who are you purposefully investing in right now?
Fellow members of the youth group, the volunteer group and the youths at risks, because the goodwill in them is eminent and inspiring. As much as I'd like to impart my knowledge and skills to them, I'm positive that I'll learn a lot from them in return.

How are you "watering them" and creating environment for growth? Assess the following:

Painting pictures
I'd let them know of the basic qualities of leadership and play an exemplary role to them. Only then, will they see it and find the true meaning from whatever was said. Lead by example, that's it.

Providing road maps
I'd consistently remind them of their destination, the purpose of their tasks and goals. I'd share my experience with them, asking for their opinions and from there guide them towards the less congested routes to take.

How do you furnish laboratories?
Involve them in feedback sessions, respecting their values and principles, giving them the opportunity to lead and help to add in bits and pieces on the way.

How do you give roots?
I'd encourage them to make their decisions with values as criterion that they could possibly follow and to reach the optimum objective that was set. This would help to keep them focused and on track.

How do you offer wings?
Encouragement, belief and trust in them. Not only so, I'd show them and tell them how much promise I see in them to initiate as well as succeed. From there, I'd encourage appropriate risk-taking so long as they can learn from it.

120708

2008-07-14T21:53:00.000+08:00

Experential learning- psychological or physical impacts of which learning points can be derives through reflections.
Thoughts- What were you thinking?
Emotions- How were you feeling?
Action- What did you do?
Results- What is the result?

1 What did you experience today
2 Did you discover anything about yourself?
3 Did you manage to overcome your fears?
4 How do you feel about the beneficiaties?
5 How would you influence the guys?
6 What expectations and goals do you have of yourself in this programme?

I've gone through something that left me astounded-- I was entirely amazed by how total strangers can cast aside all their differences to work together, in search for a common goal and objective. Although the volunteers may not have explicitly stated their objectives and hope to serve, the vibes could be felt, it was truly encouraging and motivating; knowing that we were together, working towards a common cause.

I took me longer than usual to warm up to the strangers than it usually does and I wondered why. I later, upon further probing, found out that I had an underlying fear. I feared that, because the organisation I was working for was a Christian organisation, and I, being a devout Buddhist, our beliefs and values would be very different. I was proven otherwise. We had a common vision to serve the community and that was suffice to pull us through.

I also thought more about my extreme fear of heights that has been with me since I could recall. I found out that it was because I didn't trust and have faith in other people, in other team mates in the past. Through the years in SBMY, in Nan Hua and in various VWOs, I realised that I have learnt to do so. My faith for the world being a better place has grown so much, compared to 4 years back, when I just started out in my endeavours as a hot-tempered, impatient and rude teenager. I'm grateful for all that I've learnt and grown, for I now know how to enjoy and relish in the simplicity and joy of the every moment. Then and there, I decided and convinced myself that, I had to trust my fellow team mates, those whom were belaying me and guiding me through the course. I told myself, in order to help others, I have to overcome my own fear. I'm glad that I have managed it; I have gained and learnt so much from volunteerism, I never want to stop.

I have to admit I didn't attend the visitation with an open mind, I was worried and afraid that the youths would be aggressive, hard to control and vulgar. When I met them, their effort to break the ice and get to know us better was evident, they were extremely coorporative and I felt, deep inside my heart, that although they had commited offences, there is good within all of them. The aspiration to help them to discover themselves and be able to contribute to the society/community grew exponentially from then. I could feel the instant surge of motivation to give all I can to them, for them to be better people. I want to be a friend to them, someone whom they know they are able to trust, someone whom they could turn to when they needed a listening ear, for comfort, solace, guidance and inspiration. I want to let them know that, the world is a much better place and they can enjoy the little joys in life.

I aspire so much and have committed myself to this programme. I want to make full use of this opportunity to inspire and touch as many as I can throughout this span of 6 months. I want to tell them, badly, that the world is a beautiful place that we can all look forward to.